My dear sweet sisters …
Wishes and fantasies have no end. Making it happen
in real and enjoy them is difficult task for cross
dressers.
We start enjoying our feminine side from bathrooms
wearing leftovers of female members of our family,
then when alone in home trying female dresses in full.
If conditions favorable, makeup, jewellery, bangles,
heels and of course a nice wig.
First we admire ourselves in mirror, keep on walking
in different styles, enacting different posses and
then come a very strange feeling. At one hand we take
utmost care that no one should notice us as a female
but at the other hand we peep through window and door
and wish that some one should see us and admire us.
What a fantasy of mind??
It does not stop here. We wish to go out as a lady
and it starts from stepping out of confined room door,
in galleries, staircases and then on rooftop. Still
we strive hard to find a safe place to step out of
home.
It starts from late night outings, then to late evening
Outings then outings in company of some other trusted
Ones then with some girl friend or genetic lady/ladies
and then all alone in broad day light.
CD festivals at Kollam, Villupuram and Tirupathi
give opportunity for remaining enfem for days together.
But enjoying as a lady in broad day light at places
without a CD festival and even where there is no acceptability
to Cross dressers is like reaching heights which is
very difficult for many.
But, there are girls like Shalini, Radhaa etc. who
have courage, skill and favorable circumstances to
go out as a female in broad day light and enjoy their
feminine side in full.
I am amongst one, enjoyed my outings as a lady not
only at CD festivals, but places like Bahucharaji
(Ahmedabad), Porbandar, Bhopal etc. Ahmedabad has
become my most favorable city, just like my another
home where I enjoyed remaining as a lady in broad
day light, with countless Outings to Bahucharaji.
Some CD girls who wished their first complete makeover
and ever first outing as a female has joined me at
Ahmedabad and had nice enjoyment without a jolt till
now, all with the blessings of mother goddess. They
even enjoyed Garba dancing with other genetic ladies
in 2006.
Now may it be peak but for sure to its extreme, I
developed a wish to visit and worship Lord Krishna
and Goddess Radhaa at Vrindawan (Mathura). Then it
enhanced to go to Haridwar, known as the door to heaven,
a sacred dip in holy river Ganga in the female ghat
(shore), change wet clothes like other females do,
then perform puja and other rituals; then offer food
to Brahmins (Pandits) with own hands, fully as a lady
and feel complete like a lady in all doing it.
All went on as planned. God blessed me though it
was little tough since Vrindawan and Haridwar are
the places nearer to my native town, Jaipur, and many
keep on visiting these places often. There were many
chances that some well-known friend or relative of
mine may recognize and trap me at these places. But
nothing went wrong and I enjoyed all my fantasies
in full.
I started from Jaipur as a male on Friday, 19th Sept
by noon and reached Vrindawan by night at about 8.30
pm. It was difficult to find a nice place to stay
and transform to female and live as a full time lady.
At the instance of God without any difficulty I found
a very nice place to stay, a hotel type big Guest
House, with A.C. room, its own kitchen and dining
hall, a very neat and clean place to stay.
In Vrindawan, there is a community known as SAKHI
SAMPRADAYA, where male live as a female and worship
God but all with strict dress code and code of conduct.
They are supposed to wear sari only, keep head and
body fully covered and move out on the roads for visiting
temples on some specific days and not supposed to
roam on the roads/market in evenings and late evenings.
Since I was unaware of these codes of dress and conduct,
got up at 4 am next morning, shaved, took bath, and
got ready as a female in a nice sari with a nice sober
makeup. All this took around 3 and half hrs. By 7.30
am, I moved out of my hotel to get the darshan of
Banke Behari at 8.00 am Aarti time.
I kept my head open wearing sari in normal style
and reached temple, joined other genetic ladies in
ladies block and stayed praying my lord Krishna. All
of a sudden, the lady standing behind me took my sari
pallu and placed it on my head without uttering any
word. Really I had a great feeling in it that can't
be expressed in words.
After Aarti, I went out, brought some Maakhan and
Mishri (butter and sugar granules), garland etc.,
came back to temple and stood in the queue with other
ladies for the darshan. While waiting I asked one
of the lady to move and give me space so that I can
place my offerings. Hearing my voice, that elderly
lady standing in front of me turned round telling
that, "this is ladies queue and not for males."
When she saw me decd in sari as Sakhi, she apologied
telling "Sorry, I did not see you" and arranged
space for standing and placing my offerings to the
deity. On receipt of my prasadam from the Pandit,
I went to the Gate of temple and distributed prasadam
to the devotees who happily accepted it. I requested
some one on road to click few pics of mine with my
camera and took some snaps. I returned back to my
hotel room, after my breakfast.
After resting for a while, I went out to roam on
the roads and market as a lady. I interacted with
some locals, went to a cyber café then to the
house of a local person ( Purushothamji) belong to
Sakhi Sampradaya who live with his family. He asked
me to come in the evening in normal male dress, to
participate in the Pooja at home.
In evening I called Puroshattamji, and don't know
why, told him that I am sorry, I am in female dress
and can visit him as a female only as I don't wish
to change into normal male form till I visit Haridwar.
He allowed me to visit his home as female. I changed
in to pink Salwar Suit and went out.
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After walking for about 10 minutes through market
and streets, I reached his home. He welcomed me without
any hesitation. Meanwhile, two more sakhis from the
sakhi ashram joined us. Both were in male mode but
with long hairs and their head covered with a dupatta.
We talked for long. Purshottamji explained many things
about Sakhi Sampradaya, their dress code, other code
of conducts etc, He has also shown his angry against
those from outside of Vrindawan, living as female
and behaving against Sakhi norms with sexual orientation
causing defamation to Sakhis here in Vrindawan. He
told me that since he found in me a nice person while
talking in the morning on the gate of his house, he
has entertained me happily. Other two sakhis also
invited me to their Ashram for meeting with other
sakhis thereat. By late evening, I was back to Room
and went for sleep in nightgown after a nice dinner.
Next morning I got up at 4 am, ready in another sari
fully decd with a nice normal makeup, jewellery etc.,
taking full care to cover my head and body with sari
pallu. I went to the temple, offered my prayers as
previous day remaining in ladies block offering puja
and distributing prashadam. Then visited the temple
of Ashtta Sakhies (eight famous sakhis or Lord Krishna
and that of Radhaaji). I took pictures of that temple,
requested a visitor to click a few of my pics., then
went to Sakhi Ashram where I was invited last evening.
On reaching the Ashram, after enjoying a cup of tea,
interaction started with the head and deputy head
of Ashram. I don't know to explain, how we indulged
in our talks for more than 4 hrs. When I was about
to leave the Ashram, to go to the local Bus Stand
for getting my seat booked for Haridwar by bus on
that night, another sakhi came there and told their
Head that two persons from National TV had come with
Camera to take interview with the inmates thereat.
I immediately took their permission to leave as I
do not want to be exposed in press and tv network.
So just at the moment the TV persons entered the room,
I left and was saved from any interview and photos.
Thank God to rescue me.
I went to local Bus Stand, got my reservation done.
The person on booking was very nice to me and took
care to book one single seat in the front of that
deluxe semi sleeper coach.
I returned back to hotel, had my Lunch, changed to
another
sari for travel in the night, packed my baggage and
then took rest. Aftaer clearing hotel bill, took a
Cycle rikshaw and went to bus stand to board the bus.
When the bus reached Mathura there was a halt of
more then an hour. Like other co-passengers I got
out of bus, went to ladies toilets to get fresh. I
went out of bus stand and enjoyed some food, tea and
came back to bus. I was having a lot of time at Bus
Stand so with the help of a Co-passenger I took my
2-3 snaps at Mathura Bus Stand.
Yeah, two minor things happened on the way. (One)at
one place passengers asked the driver to stop, as
they want to urinate. I too got down for urination,
sat like ladies and got urinated with other ladies.
(Two) My blouse was very tight, due to weight of breast
forms and it kept paining whole of the night as there
was no way for me to get some relief I loosened the
last hook of my blouse.
Haridwar episode will follow……………….
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