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My
Dairy
- MANY
FACES AND BODIES,
THROUGHOUT THE AGES.
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A little about Sunita. I wear a size 9" shoe.
I am 5 feet 8 inches of height. My measurements are ...
whatever you want them to be ... it fluctuates so much it's
hard for me to keep track ... besides that's boring. I am
not the young filly, nor the filly which once enjoyed a
youthful physique. There are some serious mid-life stuff
that takes over your body controls ... and that takes a
little to get use to. I am indian. I have dark-brown eyes
... and I love to wear tinted contact lenses. I think that
tinted contact lenses "alone" can dramatically change your
personality and the way you see yourself. My hair color
is normally black. However, I wear my hair in many colors
... I am always experimenting. These days , keeping control
over my white-gray hair has become a never ending task.
I wear wigs ... a lot! My voice is neither typically male
or female. Many say that I speak with an Indian dialect/accent.
I am Aquarius with forty nine years worth of wear and tear.
To this day, I still wonder why I do what I do. If,
a forty nine year old man with male genitalia intact, with
no female boosting hormones consumed, can play sexy, sensual
woman ... then the world must be mad! This only means you
too can play... pretend. My disclaimer should read ... "He
is not a female, he is not a woman ... He is a male, who loves
to make others believe that he's a woman ... he is ... a female
illusionist". When taking photographs, feminine comportment,
body positioning, facial angles and attitude are key making
a photograph convincingly female. You will never see on this
website photographic rejects ... the ones that don't pass
the test. When you put only your best female looking photographs
together, ones imagination can take over the reigns and begin
filling in other pertinent feminine "answers" that are needed
to fulfill the female illusion. You won't know me in the real
world ... but on the Internet you are a player of my "manipulated"
world. There are far more attractive, more serious and more
convincing transgendered persons than I ... who have made
it their lifestyle to be one sex of the other. I am not one
of those people. I have no desire to change my sex ... but
I love to fantasize about that process. I don't have female
breasts, but I have male breasts that when manipulated properly
are convincingly female. I am an excellent make-up artist
and transformer. I love the fact that I can still grow a beard,
and be grandpa. And, I love that I can shave it all off and
transform into the lovely Sunita, someone sensual, feminine
and appealing. I am a highly erotic person who melts in the
presents of femininity and enjoy transforming his body attitude
as such from time to time.
As, a young child I was always teased because of my naturally
curly hair ... an asset these days, but a
detriment growing up male in the 50's. Who was this child that neither
fit in ... I always felt I was an outsider. And, believe me
... even though the adults were always kind ... my cousins
spoke the adults' truth. "Curly haired boy ... you should
be a girl " ... As a child, I never liked nor loved myself
... I just didn't fit in anywhere. It was an ongoing fantasy
of mine, to be someone who was acceptable ... anyone other
than me! There was a time when makeup specifically manufactured
for ethnic women, did not exist in the India. I knew for a
very long time that I wanted makeup and I wanted to play with
it ... it was during the Festival season when a young male
child could get his hands on makeup ... and it was okay! So,
makeup became my fantasy arsenal. The was your basic, lipstick
red, your clown white, your under eye sports black, eye shadow
blue and Martian green, just the colors I needed for transformation.
For, my hair I used some synthetic rope that was trashing
... it looked like "real " hair on its frayed ends, so I transformed
this rope into two, long ponytail like braids. Wow! So at
nine years of age, was the beginning of my man life transformations.
I never wanted to be a little girl ... I wanted to be a sweet
smelling, well dressed, well mannered, beautiful white woman.
You see, my vision, my sense of "real " beauty was shaped
by what was consistently reinforced on the television screen,
movies and visual print media. Ethnic beauty had not yet been
discovered by.
I
NEVER WANTED TO BE A REAL WOMAN, I JUST WANTED TO PRETEND
TO BE THE PERFECT LADY, THOUGH UNDERNEATH THE MAKE UP AND
THE ILLUSION WAS ME ... THIS GUY !
I was fascinated
with the thought of being the perfect female illusionist.
I always wondered what it would be like to have real healthy
bouncing breasts. I wanted great big breasts with cleavage.
I wanted perky medium sized breasts with great little nipples.
I have never used female hormones, even when they were made
available to me. I had the privilege of many friends and acquaintances
who chose to use female & male hormones ... and their
stories were not always successful. I was afraid ... I was
afraid, if I had chose to use hormones to enhance my look
it would have been used for all the wrong reasons ... I would
have taken it non-prescribed, not monitored by a physician,
it would magically "cure" all my deep emotional hurt and confusion
and, change me into someone that didn't think or look like
male ... me. Believe me, the pressure to take these "magic
pills" was encouraged by more than a handful of my "dearest"
peer friends and acquaintances. After, a number of years,
of seeing results & hearing all the accounts from those
who were using hormones ... I'm glad that I chose not to use
them. But, I had regrets, some terrible anxiety of being alone
and not a part of my peers, who were showing more and more
feminine traits everyday, while I looked on.
to
be continued someday! . . .
The text on this page will be edited, refined,
spellchecked, graphics will change, new information added,
some deleted. This is my work in progress and it is written
in a manner as if I were speaking to a "dear" friend. The
information on this page will change as I discover my sense
of worth ... as, I discover my truth . . . you can bare witness
"to it all" ... after all, this is Sunita Pink !
SO, REMEMBER
... IF, I LOOK TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE ... YOU THEN SHOULD CONSIDER
I AM ... A " DAMN " GOOD ILLUSIONIST !
AND
THEY'RE ALL ME ... IN MY WORLD!
ENJOY!
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